Not everyone wishes you bad in life...but sometimes those who wish you nothing but the best are the ones who get at you the most. The very ones who hold you back because of standards and expectations they seem to have. None of them realise just what and whom you are....what you're capable of achieving....because you've never been given that opportunity to do anything for yourself. You're always doing things to satisfy the other party...not because you have been ordered to...but because growing up...you developed the ability to be obedient and do as asked without having a mind for any of it.
It all started off as a front to compensate for the extremely rebellious persona I possessed in my childhood. You see...in my early years...I was nothing but a common thief. Whatever and wherever I was..I managed to take something for myself. I stole money my older sisters attempted to save in their little canisters...money boxes. I stole from the handbags of the ladies who rented our servants quarters...I stole from my fathers wallet...I stood on sidewalks and borrowed from passerby's in town just so I could make up transport money back home...money I had very willingly used to buy sweets and all sorts of edible pleasures in school. I did it often and frequently and never saw the wrong in it. Even when i was caught...i knew i would get whatever punishment that came and turn right back around and repeat.
You see, being the middle child in a family...it's almost like they forget about you sometimes...well, in my household...I was always the headliner. Always felt invisible though...and to my surprise...my thieving would go on for months unnoticed...until I made a stupid move and got caught. Thieving monkey with the bad grades, I always was...couldn't give a shit about anything other than what I was gonna buy next..or when I would steal some more. The black sheep...the headache...never as pure and put together as the others...until I stole my last P100 note from my dad and was made to write down and sign a confession detailing my history in thieving...where it begun and how it progressed. Attached to this letter was a contract...a 30 day contract that ensured I was sprawled out on the living room floor every evening where my father administered 5 generously powered lashes across my lovely behind...discipline that lasted from the beginning to the end of a lovely September in 2005.
Now you see, as painful as it may have been...had my father not taken charge on my behalf I'd be a lost cause for sure. Not only did I stop stealing...my grades went up...of course unlike my siblings I never took top spot in class but I offered healthy 'competition' to the brainiacs of my time and having made a huge improvement...it was acceptable to my folks. I also came to realize the error in my ways and decided to change. You see...I had no choice anyway. That September beating was like no other...anyone with half a brain would steer clear of what they did wrong. I know for a fact it made me stop my thieving.
So from then onward, I discovered the world of pleasing people by doing what they asked...trying to accommodate their wants as much as I possibly could....ignoring mine...completely disregarding my wants for the benefits of others. But...it's gone on for too long now and must be put to an end.
So in 2015...this Kenyan girl has taken a vow to take back all that is hers. Though the kindness and the love she radiates to all shall remain alive...she has none but the urge to do right by herself...seizing the moment...finding a way to be happy doing things that she wants to do no matter whom it may 'offend' or steer away from her life. There comes a time when one must be selfish with their wants...get what you want in life for no ones gonna give it for you. No one knows better than you possibly could. If you fail then you simply pick yourself up and try again. If you succeed...then you by all means keep riding that wave into forever...for as long as you have breath in you....claim your stake and make happy in it.
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